Laura: A great start for your story. It recounts your trip to Disney. I think you could break the writing into even smaller chunks: remember the principle of short, scannable text. This way you can make the reader do some work - some clicking - and get them engaged in the story. You can also work it around the maps and images. You need to think about what other parts there are to the story - what events/incidents occur? Who is involved? Also, sketch out the characters some. Think about the conclusion - where does the story end? The map looks good but keep in mind you want at least 10 placemarks on it.
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Laura: A great start for your story. It recounts your trip to Disney. I think you could break the writing into even smaller chunks: remember the principle of short, scannable text. This way you can make the reader do some work - some clicking - and get them engaged in the story. You can also work it around the maps and images. You need to think about what other parts there are to the story - what events/incidents occur? Who is involved? Also, sketch out the characters some. Think about the conclusion - where does the story end? The map looks good but keep in mind you want at least 10 placemarks on it.
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